First, how’s your feeling to end the Electric Love Tour?
Honestly, I was just so surprised. I kind of had the image of Japanese fans being so quiet and I was so glad that everyone enjoyed it with us just as Korean fans do. I was so proud of ourselves of what we had done when I was seeing that. It was a memorable tour in every meaning. Also, I started to feel greedy about how we will do our stages in Japan from now on. I think there are more things that we can do next time.
Your performances are so manly that they are just so loved by the male fans in Japan.
I hope so. There are many male fans like my performances in Korea too. It’s not that I am aiming for it, but it’s my rap style that it is so manly. I think I’m having this color for myself because I’d searched for just my own rap & vocal styles starting when I was little.
Can you explain more about your style?
I think I’m restraining my moves on the stage more than rapping. That’s the style and my theory which I think it’s cool. Most of all, I don’t like to overact on the stages. I want to try new things and add some revolutionary elements, but I want to express it with some restraint, naturally rather than with some boast.
I think it’s TOP’s theory of being manly.
Ah yeah, maybe.
So, you originally liked gangster rap?
(in Japanese) It started when I was ten.
Ah, when you were ten? *laughs*
Yeah, I tried a little Japanese.
Ah ha ha, a little right? *laughs* So, from ten, what?
From ten, I listened to music, kind of dark, such as like gangster rap, from New York/East Coast ones. I was always thinking how to make it with my style over and over. Like how to express it with my flow, my color. I thought it was weird to just imitate the American hip hop culture because I’m Korean. So I wanted it to have some eastern soul, so this is what it looks like now.
Yeah, but from ten, you practiced your rap with the high tone voice, even before you broke your voice.
*laughs* Yeah right. *laughs* but this rap tone for now, it’s not what I had originally. It’s the made one. I practiced to have some heavy voice rather than just a low tone.
But you sound so much cool while your talking like this. It’s your real voice, right?
No, not quite. It’s just been like this for a while after I started to act, but I am trying to change my voice. I think it’s better to have a voice tone that everyone can understand.
You control yourself that much?
Well, I think it’s necessary. I think everything of a man is made by our habits. For example, thinking that standing on the live stages or acting in front of the cameras, as an actor, it looks like we are all 100% focused on what our characters should do, but actually we are all showing what our habits and lifestyles are. So I think I want to be in shape of pure white, getting rid of my habits as soon as possible. Well, at least I wish I would be.
Aren’t those kinds of wishes make you more concerned?
Well, I am concerned, so I want to be perfect soon. For now, many people know me and expect from me. They are like “TOP will do like this and do like that to make us entertained”. At first, I was so glad, but as time goes by, it was restricting myself. I was feeling nervous, thinking like “what if I don’t satisfy their expectations?” So I thought that I must work harder to be perfect. If I am perfect, then I will satisfy their expectations and then I won’t have to feel concerned.
I think I know what you are talking about.
I’m always thinking about this all the time that we design our lives by ourselves, right? I want to be a person who is better than what I was yesterday, a person who is not embarrassed when to look back. I sometimes can’t forgive myself on what I’d already done and felt regret.
Maybe people, like you, are ascetic.
Yeah, but I think that’s the way it should be.
But sometimes, don’t you want to relax yourself?
I thought like that before, but um.., maybe I should say “I live with madness about my work? (A workaholic)” This is the period that I want to live in my work, so I don’t think I need that much rest .
Crazy for music, right?
(in Japanese) Crazy for “sigoto”. (sigoto is a Japanese word for “work”)
Oh, Japanese!
Sigoto, *laughs* Um, what should I say. I think I will have much back for me when I don’t have some responsibility while I’m working, even though it’s really hard. There are some times when I have to work on what I’m lacking on. That’s the reason why I don’t want to have some rest. I think it’s kind of selfish, but only work is kind of a thing to satisfy myself.
But you lack of something because you are a human being.
Oh yeah, honestly I am so much lonely when I’m alone. *laughs*
Ah, you don’t look that way, but you are a lonely boy, right? *laughs*
I think it’s because my lifestyle is too extreme. Many times I’m just stuck in the too-extreme situation. For example, I was shooting for the movie that was about the Korean war and I was practicing for this Electric Love Tour. I was very busy and there were so many things that stimulated me. My brain is still young, so it can absorb much stimulation but mentally, I was confused of some parts. Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely when I am alone. I mean I am really alone.
So what do you usually do when you are alone?
Most of the times I think about the past. Like “Yesterday, it was like this.” or “Last week, it was like this.” It’s those times to arrange my thoughts. Maybe listening to jazz music, drinking a glass of wine, checking on my figures..
Ah, just like the rumor…
Ah, no no, I’m not a pervert!!!
Yeah i know. *laughs* I heard it from SeungRi that you bought some expensive bearbricks.
Yeah, you know… um, I pass out about how much it costs.. *laughs* I like the plastic ones. Most boys like the square-like ones, such as robots, but I like the curvy ones, such as bearbricks.
What do you like about the plastics?
It’s elaborate. It feels like it’s so full, nothing to be added more. There are some impossible, unperfect things for humans, right? Including me, all people want to be the perfect ones, but we can’t be. So maybe I’m getting vicarious satisfaction when I’m watching the bearbricks? I’m owing them, just like “how can you be so perfect!” *laughs*
Eventually, it’s like, it’s simple but it’s perfect.
Yeah, it’s beautiful because it’s simple. We all want to live in a simple way, but it’s such a hard thing for humans. It will never get ashamed or something even as the time goes by.
Maybe it’s because you always wanted to make your characters or some other works perfect? I feel you’re different, every time I see you.
I think I must be new every time. I don’t want to be defined like, “This is TOP!”
Yes, I got it.
Whenever you look, you will be bored if you are looking at the same TOP all the time right? So I think I should always show you the new me. In that reason, I have to cover myself every time. Maybe I should say I’m covering my true self. It’s better to exclude my real life. I have to act a new character when I’m acting, so I don’t have to emphasize my color more keenly.
Even I only talk about the music, it’s way different when you are rapping fiercely and when you are just flowing with some melody.
That’s the point i’m thinking it is the politeness to our listeners. I think it’s a professional to always feel fresh. I think it’s my ability rather than it’s just my mental if it is possible or not. I have respected such musicians who shows things that I wasn’t able to do and I wish I could be one of them.
I’m not sure who is the real TOP.
(in Japanese) That is because I’m not that famous in Japan.
And why are you answering that in japanese? *laughs*
Ah, no. Just wanting you to support us more. *laughs*
The people who are around you, what do they say about TOP?
Members are saying that I’m delicate and when I start something, I go too deep. I don’t want to show my weakness or my nervousness, but I’m thinking that it’s impossible because the Big Bang members are just like a family for me. I know it’s better when I’m not hiding myself. Ah and our members are thinking the same, including our staffs, I think.
How about the other members?
Very innocent. I think they think innocently. Being innocent and a professional are my ideal ones. They’re the types that are not troublemakers because we all have very different characters. It’s a very great group. What do you think the most important thing to make such a great group?
Ah.., well, what?
I’m thinking that the oldest one is the very important one. *laughs*
Ah.. well, do you have a word that’s saying self compliment?
(in japanese) Yes, I was just kidding, kidding *laughs*
But is it true that there are some parts that need the old one’s work?
Well actually, I don’t have some brother-like character originally. I don’t really like to lead enthusiastically and teach in front. I’m actually watching the others from behind, quietly. Each of our members have strong charateristics and they are all independent mentally, so there’s some parts that we are all thinking it’s kind of not good to be too much considerate to each other. That is the part which is so professional. So I want to watch us in the back. And well, while we are working, I think that just one or two years difference is just nothing. Also the youngest one, SeungRi seems to feel more comfortable with me, better than the other 3. Sometimes he just ignores me. *laughs*
You are so strict to yourself, are you the same to the others?
No no, I’m not that much of a strict person. I don’t think i’m strict to myself more than I need to be. I’m feeling that I’m kind of a weird person now. *laughs*
At least I heard your blood type is B, more than the other Bs, *laughs*
Well, I don’t know myself well. I’m just wandering around all the time because I think differently from time to time.
You are a kind of person who can’t really handle yourself.
Yes, that’s why I’m just not good at dating a person.
Ah yes… no, I didn’t ask that *laughs*
Ah haha, yeah. my bad.
So maybe you like girls on top, controlling you. Right?
Huh? That sounds not right. *laughs* I’m a type of guy who wants to give his all to his girlfriend, so I want to show myself which is unknown by others to her. How about that?
You are making the ending so cool, right?
Yes, *laughs* but, um…
Yes?
You think that i’m wrapping myself too much, like to be cool?
Um, it’s kind of out of nowhere *laughs*
This is the way i’m self suggesting.
Ah yeah and this is very efficient in someways.
Yeah, right? I think people are changing by the words they are saying. Because when you said something, you struggle to make it that way. So I say things as I’m thinking of how to say them out loud and try to act that way, just drawing that figure in my head.
Were you like that when you were younger?
I was more of a dark person when I was young. But for now, I feel I’m bright and am healthy. Maybe it’s the effect of my favorite music. Hip hop and African American music effected me and I was kind of restraining myself. I spent so much time just sitting on my desk and writing my lyrics or thinking.
But that’s the way the child should be, some parts they’re foolish.
Well, I’m saying this because it’s all in the past, but I am naughty some times. When I was a teenager, I sometimes do things that were so foolish. selfish and sensitive. I’m quite positive now because I’m a grownup and also I think myself with my work.
Working is quite interesting, right?
Yeah, I’m enjoying it so much. What can I say, it’s like making my life full. It’s not like being famous worldwide that I’m feeling it’s interesting or happy. I just work hard, doing my best at what’s in front of myself. Honestly, I’m glad that people are starting to have some interests in Big Bang because of my act, showing them the new part of myself.
So, what is that Big Bang going to do next?
I’m not the type of guy who thinks about his future, but one thought popped up when I was meditating 3 days ago. Even when we look worldwidely, the average year of a boy group is only 5 years. Maybe we can do 20 or 30 years more or we can just end with 5. No one knows what will happen, but we want it to be a really great group that will make people someday when they are talking about music say, “the past and the following music years, were centered by Big Bang”. We want ourselves and our music to be a beautiful memory for people no matter how much the time has past.
What’s your personal goal?
I want the word “monster” to be added to me, as an artist and as a person. I should say that I make everyone think. I’m so unusual that people just have to have their eyes on me. I dream to be like that as just TOP myself, and also in Big Bang.
Well you seem enough to be the unusual monster for now too.
Well, you are just flattering me because it’s the last question right?
Ah, you are right, it’s the end. *laughs*
Well, thank you for the compliment. *laughs* I will do my best to make you think just the same as always from now on.
(translated: huisuyoon @ 21bangs)
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